Spring is that time when the days get longer, the sun warms the soil, flowers blossom, and the bees return to their buzzing. We start running around in shorts, and we go back to having aperitivo outside—the “beautiful season” has begun!
For ages, though, spring used to suck.
Ever since adolescence, while everyone else was happy and carefree people was, spring was when I was thrown to the mercy of my anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms. I would get cold sores and rashes, among other oh-so-pleasant manifestations. To make things worse, everyone was lapping up this so-called beautiful season—everyone except me and a few other ‘lucky’ souls. It only increased my frustration.
Obviously, I faked it. I pretended to be as relaxed and happy as everyone else, even lying to myself about my overall state of (not) well-being. The explanations I sought out for my state of mind—from more or less trusted authorities—never varied much from, “Well, you’re just sensitive.” It wasn’t reassuring.
Years of meditation and yoga, observing and listening to myself, have led me to better understand my ‘sensitive’ nature. Slowly, I learned to welcome everything that comes with my very present emotions, including how to enjoy their burdens and benefits. Now it’s a bit like having a super power (and knowing how to use it!) It give me a deep sense of connection, with other people and with the environment that surrounds me. It’s an amplification of… everything.
Today I can say, with real satisfaction, that spring is one of my favorite seasons. I still have to finish reading the instruction booket that came with my super power, and the occasional cold sore still appears, but that just reminds me to keep marvelling at the sun and the bees and the flowers. And everything.